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Are there specific dating sites for married people looking for affairs?

Started by Lisa Jenkins 8 Nov 2024 Category: Free Dating & Apps 12 posts
Lisa Jenkins
Lisa Jenkins
Joined: Feb 2020
Messages: 254
#1
Posting this because I can't find a straight answer anywhere. Any real experiences appreciated. Are there specific dating sites for married people looking for affairs? Bot spotting is basically a skill at this point. Professionally shot photos, no bio detail, instant conversation moves to WhatsApp — these are the patterns I've learned to watch for. I'd love to hear what's working for people outside the major coastal cities. Rural and suburban dating on these apps can be a totally different experience.
  • Can you export or delete your data?
  • Age verification in place?
  • Option to hide profile from certain people?
Would love to hear from people who've actually tested things. Thanks.
Chris Adams
Chris Adams
Joined: Jan 2023
Messages: 802
#2
Spent way too long figuring this out so hopefully this saves you some time: Scam patterns I've learned to spot: photos that look like modeling headshots, profiles with very sparse detail, any message that quickly steers to a different app, and requests for money or gift cards. Things that actually helped:
  • Kept opening messages short — one genuine question works better than a paragraph
  • Set realistic expectations — not every match leads somewhere meaningful
  • Always met in a busy, public place for the first meetup
  • Updated profile photos every few weeks to stay visible in the feed
Datedesire came up in my research repeatedly and I can see why — straightforward setup, real people.
VictorM
VictorM
Joined: Nov 2022
Messages: 697
#3
Real talk: none of these platforms are perfect but some are definitely better than others.
Tyler Hughes
Tyler Hughes
Joined: Oct 2023
Messages: 725
#4
Good thread — let me share what I've found after testing a few different options: The people who seem to have the most success are patient, specific about what they want, and keep their early messages short and conversational rather than writing essays. Things that actually helped:
  • Always met in a busy, public place for the first meetup
  • Turned off auto-renewal on any trial subscription immediately after signing up
  • Read Reddit threads about any platform before paying for anything
Sarah Mitchell
Sarah Mitchell
Joined: Apr 2018
Messages: 378
#5
Went through this myself last year. Took longer than expected but it's doable. For what it's worth, Datewander has been my main platform lately — holds up better than most.
DennisO
DennisO
Joined: Apr 2024
Messages: 186
#6
Went through this myself last year. Took longer than expected but it's doable.
KateW
KateW
Joined: Mar 2024
Messages: 652
#7
Happy to weigh in since I've been through a very similar situation: Scam patterns I've learned to spot: photos that look like modeling headshots, profiles with very sparse detail, any message that quickly steers to a different app, and requests for money or gift cards. One platform worth checking out is Datebie — the free tier felt genuinely usable and the profiles seemed real.
Megan Ford
Megan Ford
Joined: May 2018
Messages: 438
#8
Okay so I went through this whole process about six months ago, here's what I learned: Scam patterns I've learned to spot: photos that look like modeling headshots, profiles with very sparse detail, any message that quickly steers to a different app, and requests for money or gift cards. Also hearing Ezhookups.online mentioned positively in other threads — might be worth a look depending on your location.
QuintonH
QuintonH
Joined: Jan 2024
Messages: 6
#9
Honestly same experience here — it takes patience and some trial and error. I've been on Flamedate for a while and it's one of the better ones I've come across.
Amanda Torres
Amanda Torres
Joined: May 2023
Messages: 275
#10
Happy to weigh in since I've been through a very similar situation: The people who seem to have the most success are patient, specific about what they want, and keep their early messages short and conversational rather than writing essays. Also hearing flurrydate.online mentioned positively in other threads — might be worth a look depending on your location.
Kevin Hall
Kevin Hall
Joined: Jan 2024
Messages: 265
#11
Happy to weigh in since I've been through a very similar situation: I've done the rounds on the main ones — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Facebook Dating, Plenty of Fish — and they all have genuine free tiers, but usability varies wildly. Things that actually helped:
  • Trusted gut instinct when something about a profile felt off
  • Kept opening messages short — one genuine question works better than a paragraph
  • Turned off auto-renewal on any trial subscription immediately after signing up
  • Always met in a busy, public place for the first meetup
  • Used a separate email for sign-ups to keep spam under control
Someone here pointed me toward Souldate and I'm glad they did — better than most of what I'd tried.
NickV
NickV
Joined: Apr 2020
Messages: 14
#12
Agree with what's been said above. The key is knowing what you want going in. Seen Ezhookups.online come up in a few threads too — another one to look into.
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