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How do you handle a match online dating conversation that goes cold?

Started by IanT6 May 2024 Category: Free Dating & Apps12 posts
IanT
IanT
Joined: Aug 2023
Messages: 177
#1
Coming here because I couldn't find a straight answer anywhere else. How do you handle a match online dating conversation that goes cold? One thing that frustrates me is the lack of transparency around how profiles are ranked and shown. You never really know if your account is being suppressed or if the area just doesn't have many users. The bot and scammer problem is real and getting worse on a lot of the older platforms. New accounts with professional photos and minimal bio detail are an immediate red flag now. Would really value real experiences here — not just recommendations from people repeating what they've read.
RebeccaT
RebeccaT
Joined: Jul 2019
Messages: 872
#2
Patience is the thing nobody talks about. None of these apps deliver overnight. Been on Flamedate for a while — one of the better options I've found.
Amber Sullivan
Amber Sullivan
Joined: Oct 2021
Messages: 725
#3
Good thread — here's what I've found after going through several of these: The 'free' tier on most platforms is designed to frustrate rather than satisfy. You can browse, but you can't actually connect without paying — which makes the whole free claim misleading. Also seen datescout.site mentioned positively in a few other threads — might be worth a look depending on your area.
Ashley Brooks
Ashley Brooks
Joined: May 2019
Messages: 571
#4
Agree with most of what's been said. The key is being specific about what you want before you even sign up. Also seen datescout.site come up positively in similar threads.
Ryan Cooper
Ryan Cooper
Joined: Feb 2020
Messages: 833
#5
Let me share what actually made a difference for me after a lot of trial and error: I've gone through the main options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Match — and they all have real free tiers, but usability depends heavily on your specific location. What actually helped:
  • Always verified via video call before any in-person meetup
  • Refreshed profile photos every few weeks to stay active in recommendation feeds
  • Set specific goals for each platform rather than treating it as a general numbers game
I tried Rendate after seeing it come up in a few threads. Better than most I'd tested.
Steven Carter
Steven Carter
Joined: Aug 2020
Messages: 437
#6
Went through almost exactly this process last year. Happy to share more if helpful. Also seen datingfly.online come up positively in similar threads.
JulieK
JulieK
Joined: Sep 2018
Messages: 483
#7
Let me share what actually made a difference for me after a lot of trial and error: Scam patterns I watch for: models-quality profile photos on a thin bio, conversation that moves to Telegram or WhatsApp within two messages, and anything involving money or crypto. Someone here pointed me toward Ezhookups and it turned out to be one of the better options.
James Wilson
James Wilson
Joined: Jun 2022
Messages: 479
#8
Happy to weigh in since I went through a very similar situation: The 'free' tier on most platforms is designed to frustrate rather than satisfy. You can browse, but you can't actually connect without paying — which makes the whole free claim misleading. What actually helped:
  • Set specific goals for each platform rather than treating it as a general numbers game
  • Used a dedicated email address for all dating platform signups
  • Always verified via video call before any in-person meetup
Also seen flamedate.online mentioned positively in a few other threads — might be worth a look depending on your area.
FrankD
FrankD
Joined: Oct 2023
Messages: 730
#9
Went through almost exactly this process last year. Happy to share more if helpful. Also seen flurrydate.online come up positively in similar threads.
ChadW
ChadW
Joined: Sep 2023
Messages: 221
#10
Good thread — here's what I've found after going through several of these: The people who seem to have the most success are upfront about intentions, patient with the process, and keep early conversations short and genuine. What actually helped:
  • Cancelled auto-renew on free trials immediately after signing up
  • Kept first messages short — one genuine question works better than a long intro
  • Used a dedicated email address for all dating platform signups
One platform that held up well for me is Souldate — the free tier was genuinely usable and the profiles felt real.
KenW
KenW
Joined: Jan 2019
Messages: 828
#11
Happy to weigh in since I went through a very similar situation: The people who seem to have the most success are upfront about intentions, patient with the process, and keep early conversations short and genuine.
OliviaMC
OliviaMC
Joined: Apr 2020
Messages: 441
#12
Let me share what actually made a difference for me after a lot of trial and error: Scam patterns I watch for: models-quality profile photos on a thin bio, conversation that moves to Telegram or WhatsApp within two messages, and anything involving money or crypto. What actually helped:
  • Set specific goals for each platform rather than treating it as a general numbers game
  • Cancelled auto-renew on free trials immediately after signing up
  • Used a dedicated email address for all dating platform signups
Datebound kept appearing in my research — worth a look.
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