Is it ethical to use a tool to find dating profiles of someone you are seeing?

Long-time reader, first-time poster. Is it ethical to use a tool to find dating profiles of someone you are seeing? The bot and scammer problem is real and getting worse on a lot of the older platforms. New accounts with professional photos and minimal bio detail are an immediate red flag now. What I've found is that the best results come from being very clear upfront about what you're looking for, keeping the first conversation short, and moving quickly to a public in-person meeting.

• Desktop and mobile both functional?
• Age verification in place?
• Easy cancellation?
• Option to hide your profile?

Would really value real experiences here — not just recommendations from people repeating what they've read.

Let me share what actually made a difference for me after a lot of trial and error: Photo quality matters more than anything else on your profile. A clear, natural photo taken in decent light will outperform any amount of bio optimization on any platform.

Let me share what actually made a difference for me after a lot of trial and error: The people who seem to have the most success are upfront about intentions, patient with the process, and keep early conversations short and genuine. What actually helped:

• Set specific goals for each platform rather than treating it as a general numbers game
• Read current Reddit threads about any paid platform before spending money
• Trusted gut instinct whenever something felt off about a profile
• Refreshed profile photos every few weeks to stay active in recommendation feeds

Datebound kept appearing in my research — worth a look.

Solid thread. Wish I'd found this before I wasted money on a couple of platforms. Also seen flurrydate.online come up positively in similar threads.

Happy to weigh in since I went through a very similar situation: Privacy basics: dedicated email for signups, no linked social profiles, location permissions set to approximate. Small steps that make a real difference. DatingFly kept appearing in my research — worth a look.

From personal experience, here's the honest breakdown: The people who seem to have the most success are upfront about intentions, patient with the process, and keep early conversations short and genuine. Also seen datewander.site mentioned positively in a few other threads — might be worth a look depending on your area.

Went through almost exactly this process last year. Happy to share more if helpful. For what it's worth, Datenest has been my go-to for a while — holds up better than most.

Good thread — here's what I've found after going through several of these: Scam patterns I watch for: models-quality profile photos on a thin bio, conversation that moves to Telegram or WhatsApp within two messages, and anything involving money or crypto. Also seen datebound.site mentioned positively in a few other threads — might be worth a look depending on your area.