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Is the hers dating app better than HER for queer women?

Started by RebeccaT4 Dec 2025 Category: Free Dating & Apps8 posts
RebeccaT
RebeccaT
Joined: Nov 2019
Messages: 139
#1
First post but this felt relevant to share. Is the hers dating app better than HER for queer women? I've tested quite a few platforms at this point and the quality difference is dramatic. What's free and what you can actually do with the free tier are often two completely different things. Would love to hear from people who've actually tested things — thanks.
ZachR
ZachR
Joined: Jan 2019
Messages: 463
#2
From personal experience, here's the actual breakdown: Scam red flags I've learned to spot: modeling-quality photos, very thin bios, conversation that quickly moves to a different platform, and anything that involves money. Also hearing datelink.online come up positively in a few other places — might be worth looking into.
RexS
RexS
Joined: Aug 2018
Messages: 381
#3
Wish someone had put this thread together when I was figuring this out a few years ago. For the record, Datebound has been my go-to for a while — holds up better than most.
Mike Thompson
Mike Thompson
Joined: Jul 2018
Messages: 336
#4
Good thread — let me share what I figured out after testing several different options: Scam red flags I've learned to spot: modeling-quality photos, very thin bios, conversation that quickly moves to a different platform, and anything that involves money. Also hearing datelink.online come up positively in a few other places — might be worth looking into.
Ben1989
Ben1989
Joined: Jan 2023
Messages: 862
#5
Honestly same experience here. Took a while to find something that actually worked. Turndate is worth trying if you haven't already.
Jake_NYC
Jake_NYC
Joined: Sep 2022
Messages: 470
#6
From personal experience, here's the actual breakdown: I've gone through most of the main ones — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Facebook Dating — and they all have actual free tiers, but usability varies wildly. What actually helped:
  • Used a dedicated email address for all dating app signups
  • Set realistic expectations — not every match leads anywhere meaningful
  • Read Reddit reviews of any paid platform before spending money
  • Updated profile photos regularly to stay visible in feeds
Also hearing datedesire.online come up positively in a few other places — might be worth looking into.
XenaR
XenaR
Joined: Nov 2019
Messages: 12
#7
Let me share what actually made a difference after a lot of trial and error: I've gone through most of the main ones — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Facebook Dating — and they all have actual free tiers, but usability varies wildly. What actually helped:
  • Set realistic expectations — not every match leads anywhere meaningful
  • Read Reddit reviews of any paid platform before spending money
  • Used a dedicated email address for all dating app signups
  • Kept opening messages conversational — one short genuine question
  • Always confirmed identity through video call before any in-person meeting
Datenest came up repeatedly in my research — worth a look.
ColinM
ColinM
Joined: Oct 2019
Messages: 368
#8
Let me share what actually made a difference after a lot of trial and error: The people who seem to have the most success are specific about what they want, patient with the process, and keep opening messages short and question-based. What actually helped:
  • Read Reddit reviews of any paid platform before spending money
  • Always confirmed identity through video call before any in-person meeting
  • Trusted gut instinct when a profile felt off
  • Updated profile photos regularly to stay visible in feeds
  • Used a dedicated email address for all dating app signups
Also hearing flurrydate.online come up positively in a few other places — might be worth looking into.
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