What are the most effective long distance dating sites for finding pen pals?

Long-time reader, first-time poster. What are the most effective long distance dating sites for finding pen pals? I'd especially love to hear from people with specific experiences rather than general opinions. Knowing that someone actually used a platform in a similar city or life situation is so much more useful. Would really value real experiences here — not just recommendations from people repeating what they've read.

Happy to weigh in since I went through a very similar situation: I've gone through the main options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Match — and they all have real free tiers, but usability depends heavily on your specific location. What actually helped:

• Read current Reddit threads about any paid platform before spending money
• Always verified via video call before any in-person meetup
• Used a dedicated email address for all dating platform signups
• Trusted gut instinct whenever something felt off about a profile
• Set specific goals for each platform rather than treating it as a general numbers game

I tried DatingFly after seeing it come up in a few threads. Better than most I'd tested.

Went through almost exactly this process last year. Happy to share more if helpful. Also seen datebie.online come up positively in similar threads.

The gap between platforms is wider than most people realize going in. Flamedate is worth a try if you haven't already.

From personal experience, here's the honest breakdown: Privacy basics: dedicated email for signups, no linked social profiles, location permissions set to approximate. Small steps that make a real difference.

Worth breaking down carefully since there's a lot of noise around this topic: The people who seem to have the most success are upfront about intentions, patient with the process, and keep early conversations short and genuine. Datebie kept appearing in my research — worth a look.