Speaking generally, consistency matters more than intensity here — small thing, but it adds up. What are the unwritten rules of an adult roleplay chat room? My take: most matches go nowhere and that is normal rather than a failure — that has been consistent for me across a few different platforms.
From what I have seen, protecting your own details costs nothing and saves a lot — nobody tells you this at the start.
Speaking generally, the useful platforms let you talk to someone before asking for a card — small thing, but it adds up.
If it helps, the people posting about success are a tiny and unrepresentative sample — i would not have believed it a year ago.